I am going through a very rough time right now trying to make the right decisions to ensure i dont go to jail. But then again it is my fault for missing my court date, and not being responsible enough to follow up sooner. i hate myself for this. all day ive been thinking crazy crazy thoughts on how i can just disappear off the earth. Cause i doubt that many people would even notice right now...unless someone needs something from me, thats when people call.
I want to end it all, but im scared. Real Scared. is this life really worth the troubles i face, do i want to grow up knowing i have spent time in jail and fucked up my whole youth. didnt make it to college while all my friends got accepted to their first choice schools. dont have my parents home to go to if i need to, or borrow money from, i dont have any of that. i have me. my loving heart, and fried brain cells. And even when i try to give my loving heart, its just taken advantage of or abused. Fuck this life....

The worst month of 2009......thus far

Over half way through the year and it everything was going just fine. Actually even better than years prior. I was taking care of all my shit, had a full-time job (making decent money), just livin' it up. I mean look how happy i look right there... i mean ya i might've not remembered that moment but i was sure loving life!!

And now....well. it isn't quite like that anymore. I got fucked over at my job and am no longer employed, i'm over 5k in debt, i currently have very little cash or assets to my name, i just found out i have a warrant out for my arrest(for missing my court date that i thought was in 2 weeks), i got a $50 parking ticket, and other shit that im just wayyy way over. im trying to look at life in such positive ways, and it doesnt even throw me a curve ball, more like a wild hit by pitch in the face. Im going to SD court on thursday to hopefully settle everything... please say prayers that i dont go to jail. it isnt a place for One Broke Hapa boy.