I am going through a very rough time right now trying to make the right decisions to ensure i dont go to jail. But then again it is my fault for missing my court date, and not being responsible enough to follow up sooner. i hate myself for this. all day ive been thinking crazy crazy thoughts on how i can just disappear off the earth. Cause i doubt that many people would even notice right now...unless someone needs something from me, thats when people call.
I want to end it all, but im scared. Real Scared. is this life really worth the troubles i face, do i want to grow up knowing i have spent time in jail and fucked up my whole youth. didnt make it to college while all my friends got accepted to their first choice schools. dont have my parents home to go to if i need to, or borrow money from, i dont have any of that. i have me. my loving heart, and fried brain cells. And even when i try to give my loving heart, its just taken advantage of or abused. Fuck this life....